Brave Girl

To the Brave Girls,

To the brave girls that do hard things. 

The impossible, unimaginable, unattainable, and completely unrealistic things!

To the brave girls who break down walls and shatter glass ceilings.

To the brave girls answering the call that has been placed on their life.

To the brave girls silencing fear and anxiety.

To the brave girls breaking out of the boxes that society has thrown them in.

To the brave girls choosing to not be limited by their talents and skills.

To those brave girls standing in the gap demanding equality for the marginalized.

To the brave girls taking second chances

….and to the brave girls giving them.

To the brave girls doing the things that “they” said you couldn’t do.

Heck, to the brave girls finally believing in themselves and kicking fear and failure to the curb!

To the brave girls chartering new land and unforeseen seasons.

To the brave girls finally surrendering to God and allowing Him into the darkest, loneliest, deepest parts of who you are.

To the brave girls with loud and powerful voices.

To all the brave girls, all over the world. This one’s for you!

Brave girl, you will do great things. This is not like any other year. This is the year that you will rise up to the challenge and take what’s yours.

You will wage war on the things that once defeated you. And Brave Girl, YOU will win!!

His promises will be embedded in your heart and his voice will navigate you as you move along the path of life. The desolate and dark places that once crippled you in fear, will now have such a heavenly light shining on them, giving you the clarity and vision you need for your mission.

In the battlefield, when the enemy looks like a ferocious giant, you’ll remember that He has already gone before you and you’ve already won. You will walk boldly in the freedom you have found in Christ. You will pray down walls and your words will break the shackles off the oppressed. Brave girl, you will no longer be limited by the fear that once engulfed your life. You won’t be a wimpy, helpless, little, damsel in distress anymore. No, not you! You will rise up out of the ashes that once burned you and you my darling will stand tall and look Satan right in his eyes and send him back to the hell he came from.

Why? Because you are Daddy’s precious girl and Daddy ain’t no punk.

In a society that is constantly telling you who to be and how to look, you will not be influenced; instead, you will be a mighty woman of influence for this generation of women and little girls. You will choose to dance and even march to the beat of your own drum and you will be authentic to the woman God has created you to be. You will not be conformed to this world because you understand that you are not of this world. You will never fit in because you come from a heavenly and divine place and you'll be more than ok with that. 

They may try but they will never divest you of your crown and self-worth because the most powerful of them all has gently placed his banner of love and bravery over your life. You, my dear, have been crowned with love, honor, and truth and His spirit will reign in you all the days of your precious life. You will no longer wake up without purpose, but each day, you will wake up with a burning passion to do great things and you will finally go to the places He has called you to.

You will be a mighty weapon for His kingdom and this world will never be the same

……. because YOU, Brave Girl, have stepped foot on it.

Brave girl, you will do all of these things in the mighty name of Jesus.

Xo,

Beauty of Encouragement

Pray For Her

Colossians 1:9

New Life Version (NLV)

⁹ This is why I have never stopped praying for you since I heard about you. I ask God that you may know what He wants you to do. I ask God to fill you with the wisdom and understanding the Holy Spirit gives."

In November of last year, I attended a women's retreat hosted by the women's ministry from my church.  I was in a better place in my life, after dealing with all my heartbreak and pain from my past, but I was still not completely whole. My heart looked like a big ole block of Swiss cheese. I had holes everywhere that God was trying to deal with and I just wasn't letting Him. I admit, I was prideful and didn't think I had any areas left that God needed to clean up. Boy, did he prove me wrong.

During this time in my life, the struggle to hear God was real. I would pray, read my bible and all kinds of things but I could not feel His presence and it would frustrate me. I would cry and cry and just complain that I was tired of looking for Him and talking to the stupid wall. Man, I would tell God some things I would never dare tell my Earthly father, out of the fear that he might slap me. lol

Anyways, I felt like God was so distant. I felt like he had picked up and moved and forgot to send me one of those fancy moving announcement cards with his new address. So I prayed and looked for Him and then just gave up and that cycle repeated itself for such a long time.

Then I heard about this awesome retreat my new church was having and I decided that I was going to go and that this was the weekend God was going to show up. This was it! I wasn't taking no for an answer and I was willing to do all kinds of stalker- ish things to find where God was hiding. During this time, my friend Carol was constantly checking on me, encouraging me, loving on me and praying for me. She would remind me that God wasn't far and He still wanted my heart.

Let me tell you something, appreciate the friends who pray for you! You could have a million "loyal" friends but that ONE praying friend will change your life!

Carol was in communication with me all the way up to the day of the retreat. She wanted to be sure I was coming and she was determined to just get me there.

During this retreat they covered some intense topics. It was literally a soul cleanse. My heart was just wrecked the whole weekend.

The first day of the retreat they handed us these packets to complete. This packet was about 6 pages long and asked the most personal and intimate questions ever.

I completed the package and finished after about 30 minutes. I spent the rest of my time just sitting in silence on the floor. I tried praying but God was still playing hide and seek. I was just too emotionally worn out from that packet to go seeking for Him.

Then my friend Carol walks by, sits with me on the floor and asks me if she could pray for me. I remember she was so nervous because she didn't like praying for people out loud and it was her first time praying over someone in public.

So she started to pray and she prayed for things that only my heart knew about. She prayed with authority, love, and sincerity. She prayed like she was on a mission and she very much was. She finished praying, hugged me and carried on talking to the other girls that were there.

From that moment forward, I felt God just reaching into my heart and speaking into my life more than I had ever felt months prior.

One day, I will share all the amazing things that happened that weekend.

Anyways, that weekend changed my life and heart FOREVER!!!

That weekend also changed mine and Carol's relationship forever. God knew I needed a big sister to love me and just be there to encourage me along the way. She even gave me a tiny card that said "Contact a Carol" and  I always felt that I could do just that with her. I could contact her for anything and everything.

Since that weekend, I cannot even tell you the amount of times Carol has just been such a blessing to my life. There have been days where she sends me a prayer text and it instantly changes the tone of my day. She just loves on me so much that it's really hard to not feel God's love through her. She always so positive, encouraging and uplifting. When something is bothering me or I am struggling, I text her and she prays for me.

I strongly believe that if we all had more "Carol's" in our lives, we would have less stress and more answered prayers.

I believe that Carol's love for me is very much like the love Paul had for the Christians of Colossae. Paul was so thankful for them and so eager to see their relationship with Christ flourish. He took pride in praying for them. He took pride in teaching them. He took pride in suffering for them and with them. He took pride in disciplining them. He just loved the people of Colossae so much. He wanted them to know Jesus. He wanted their lives to be fruitful and bear the many blessings of God.

Now that is one awesome friend! That is a friend EVERYONE should want on their team. That is a friend every girl should want praying for her family and her own life.

Beauties, I encourage you to be a Paul or a Carol to someone in your life. It would be awesome if you could be that kind of friend to everyone, but let's start with baby steps.

We all need that friend who is willing to cry on the floor with us when we feel like we've hit rock bottom. We need that friend who will comfort us when we feel hurt and betrayed by other friends and family around us. We need that friend who will suffer in our pain with us. We need that friend who will pray over our homes, finances, families, relationships and marriages, when times are rough and when times are joyful. We need that friend who is willing to spend their lives just giving to our life because they simply love us.

We need that friend and we also need to be THAT friend.

Here is your assignment:

- Pick a woman you love
- Ask that friend what she would like for you to pray about (trust me, if you ask they will give you tons of stuff to pray about)
-Take 5 minutes a day or MORE to pray for your friend
- Love on them, check up on them and send them a message of love throughout the week
-Sit back and watch their lives change.

I encourage you to do this for a friend. The power of sisterhood is so strong. The power of love is so strong. Let's be the kind of women who love and pray for our friends.

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement

Splendor

Hi Beautiful,

I'm back and so refreshed. Thank you for allowing me to take some time to rest and refocus. I have been working on some new things and I will be sharing them with you very soon.

Before we start today's blog, I just want you to open your heart and forget anything and everything that has already discouraged you this morning.

I'm serious! You will miss the whole message if you are consumed by all of your worries and anxieties.

Let it go!


Over the weekend Beauty of Encouragement had some amazing things take place. I believe that God showed up and He showed out for us. He was taking His beautiful daughters and just doing a mighty work in their hearts and lives. I had people calling me, emailing me, and messaging me about their past and how they had held it in for sooooo long and with ONE blog it just all poured out. They told me how they took all their pain and just dug it so deep into their heart for years, and some even decades, to avoid ever having to face it. Then, as they read my blog, all the pain they had stored up in their hearts, just came rushing at them like a bullet.

I was completely astonished by what was happening. I knew God would show up. That is one thing I didn't doubt at all. It was truly amazing! I believe that God is moving mountains in the lives of those reading Beauty Of Encouragement. I believe that nothing and no one can stop what He is going to do in our lives this year.

So as all of these beautiful things are taking place for Beauty of Encouragement and its readers, I start to personally struggle a bit. At a time when I was so happy, focused on what God was doing through Beauty Of Encouragement and the women reading it, I just started to get attacked by thoughts that were trying to kill, steal and destroy the vision that God has placed in my heart. My mind just starts to get consumed with negativity like, "You're not enough for something this big. Look at this person, she blogs way better than you. You will never reach as many lives as she has. You're not that special that God would use you. You're not as smart. You're going to run out of things to talk about. You're going to stop blogging. You're going to give up like you always do. You're going to fail. You're going to disappoint these women. God is not in this. God is not using you. You're going to fail and the whole world is going to watch and laugh. You're a fool. God doesn't use fools. This is too big for you."

I heard all of these things in my head and slowly they were creeping into my heart. My mind turned into a battlefield. There was a war going on between the truth of God versus the lies of Satan. I knew that if I started to accept these lies, I was going to fail you, fail myself, most fail God.

So immediately, I started to do the only thing I knew how.... 

I had to literally cry my eyes out to God last night and tell Him how overwhelmed I felt by all of this. I had to be honest with my God. If I can't be honest with the God I serve then who can I be honest with? I started reminding myself of the truth that God has promised me through His Word.

So after crying my life away and asking God to bring me peace, I quickly fell asleep. The whole night I dreamt about this blog and the women it would reach. I woke up this morning a bit discouraged still. Then I prayed again and just asked God to give me strength for what He has called me to do. I asked Him to help me trust that He will instill the qualities, knowledge and drive that I need to finish the assignment He has given me. I prayed that He and only He would be the center of Beauty of Encouragement and that NOTHING, not one single thing, would take place without His say-so.

Then, in the afternoon, I was feeling so frustrated and I desperately needed to be reminded of God's promises to me. I needed hope, encouragement and I just needed to spend some time with my Papa. So I picked up my bible and  just let God pour into me. I am sooooo HAPPY that I decided to do that.

God showed me a verse that really changed my point of view. He gave me exactly what I was looking for. He showed me what I meant to Him and why I'm so important to Him.

1 Corinthians 15:41 - The sun has one kind of splendor, the moon another and the stars another; and star differs from star in splendor."

and if you aren't sure what splendor means, here is the definition.

Splendor - great and impressive beauty

And then a flood of thoughts start coming to my head. Splendor is something that radiates impressive beauty. Something that has you in complete awe.

For instance, in this particular piece of scripture, it talks about the stars.

There are various kinds of stars. Some are close to the sun while others are farther away, which determines how big or little those stars are in size. They're all so different. They have different names and they all shine so brightly. Each star is unique in shape, size, temperature, and age BUT they are ALL made up of the same elements.

I remember when I was younger my uncle would let us look into his telescope and see the stars. The experience was so amazing and different each time I looked into that telescope. All of the stars twinkled so differently, they shined differently, and they caught my eye differently. Although each one of those stars was so different, they were all SO beautiful to me and they all served a purpose in that sky. None of them were too plain or less amazing than the other. When I looked at each star individually they were beautiful, but when I looked at the whole sky full of stars, it was splendid. What a beautiful piece of work God did with the stars.

Well, guess what?

In God's eyes, we are way more splendid than any star. So if He created the stars to be so different from each other, yet, each are so great and impressive in beauty. Then why would he not do the same with us?

Of all the things God created, He could have chosen absolutely any one of them to call His children, but He chose us! So if He spent time on making the stars so unique, bright and beautiful, think of how much more time and dedication He spent doing the same for us.

He took us in the palm of His hands and beautifully made us. He picked our eyes, our hair, our body, our feet, our height, our skin color, the amount of hair follicles we have and the color of our freckles. He  was so detailed and hands on with creating us. He knew us before we were in our mother's womb and He formed us to be EXACTLY what He considers to be perfection.

So next time you compare yourself to your friend with more success, your sister with a better marriage, your co-worker with better pay, the celebrity with the nicer body, the blogger with more talent than you. Just remember one thing, when God made you, you were an original. Your splendor is ONE OF A KIND. You are different from all of the other humans in this world. He took His precious time to make you like no other. He did not make you some cheap generic version of someone else. He made you as authentic as they come.

Everything He placed inside of you was given to ONLY YOU! No one in this world will ever live and be like you. No one in this world will ever exist and be like you. No one in this world will ever walk the Earth and be just like YOU! No one!

Everything from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet was designed for only you to have. Your passions, your dreams, your goals, your life, your existence were made with you in mind.

YOU have a purpose in this world. There are things that you have inside of you that NO ONE else in this world can deliver the way that you can. There is a purpose for your life that NO ONE else in this world was called to do but YOU. These things are exclusive to only you! 

So, stop comparing yourself. Don't accept the lies that the enemy whispers to you. What God starts, He finishes and what God has placed in YOU, He will give you what you need so that it grows and bears good fruit. What you lack HE will provide for you and in you.

So tell the lies to SHUT UP and to return to the hell they came from. You don't have time to waste on the lies, when you are too busy living for the truth.

I encourage you to feed truth to all the lies that try to tear you down!

YOU are extraordinary!
YOU are exceptional!
YOU are one of a kind!
YOU are satisfying!
YOU are unique!
YOU are praiseworthy!

and in case you forgot, YOU are worth dying for. 

YOU are splendid, my Darling. Don't you ever forget it.

Never be like the rest of them, when you're the best of them. 

If today's blog has encouraged you in any way, please leave us a comment below. We look forward to hearing from you.

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement

Sunday Funday

Hi Lovelies,

Happy Sunday Funday! 

I just love Sundays! I look forward to them more than Fridays. It's just something about the day that brings so much peace to my life and the day I usually get myself into all kinds of fun adventures. 

Anyways...

Today's post will focus on the ones we love. 

The week can get so incredibly busy, we hardly have time to spend QUALITY time with the people we love and care for. 

This is the reason I love Sundays. I use Sundays to go to church and just be in the presence of God! It really changes my perspective on things that are challenging to me and gets me focused to conquer the next week. If you can, I really do encourage you to do the same. 

Then, after church I LOVE to spend time with friends or family. Spending time with people we love is so important to our growth, peace and life. It's peaceful and it's time well spent. Spending time with great friends and family is definitely a stress reliever. 

So today, I encourage you to visit a friend or family member, spend time with your kiddos, and just love on those around you.

Be present! Have fun! Be adventurous! Live your beautiful life!

Before I let you go, I would like to ask you to share some Sunday Funday pics with your sister-friends here at Beauty Of Encouragement.Please hashtag #BeautyOfFamily and post your pics on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. 

Have a great Sunday and have a fun day!

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement

It's A Celebration

Hi Lovely,

It's finally the weekend! We made it another week! 

Celebrate! It was a tough and rough one with all the snow! 

After a heavy post yesterday and pouring my heart out to you all, I think it's safe to say today's blog will be a short one.

I don't have any stories to share with you today, but of course I have some encouragement. 

I just wanted to remind you ladies to dream big! Like dream REALLY big. Use that faith, sista! 

I'll be going into this area a little more in the upcoming weeks, but I wanted to lightly touch on the area today. 

If you think your dreams are way too big. Slap yourself! Just kidding. Don't do that. 

On a serious note, you need to believe, even when it's hard seeing such a big dream come to life.

Don't sell yourself short!

For instance, I promised myself that I would write my blogs as though I were speaking to millions of women. Turns out I was speaking to about 1600 at the start of this week. Such a great number, right?

Wait until you read the next part!   

Today, the amount of people who viewed my blog almost DOUBLED!!!! Yes! AMAZING!!

Whew! So incredibly fully of joy! 

So next time you think your dreams are too big, tell your mind to hush and then go to work! 

Nothing is too Big for the God we serve! Absolutely nothing!

Lives were changed before my eyes yesterday. God had women and men balling their eyes out and facing pain they hid for 20-30 years! I prayed for this soooo incredibly hard.

 I encourage you to take ALL that pain to God. If your pain still hurts you that means you have not been healed and it's still stored in your heart. Let me tell you, as a wise woman once said, "Ain't nobody got time for that". Take it to God! He will heal you.

I'm incredibly blessed to encourage you all. I'm glad that my reckless past was not in vain. God will use anything for His glory! 

Now, let's talk about something else really fast! 

I wanted to remind you ladies that there are SO many broken women in this world. My goal is to bring as many broken women as possible to read this blog. I need your help! Please continue to share this blog with all the people you love! I'm serious, it could change someones life. Just yesterday, I had MEN telling me that my blog has encouraged them. Haha! I was not even thinking about men when I created this blog, but again, God will touch anyone! 

So, share my blog! Share my blog posts! Share my Facebook Page! Share my Instagram! Share my twitter! 

Also, I love reading all your comments about how my blog has touched your life and I know other people will want to read them as well. So please, comment on Facebook and the actual blog. Let's get to know each other and love on each other. This is a sisterhood! 

We want to hear from you! 

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement 

Brokenhearted Girl

Hi My Sweet Friends,

Earlier this week, I informed you that this post was going to be very transparent and raw. So, before I begin, I would like to address a few different things.

1.  The blog post you are about to read is about my PAST.  It is NOT a representation of who I am today, but it is a part of my story and who I am today. 

2.  Many of you reading this will be blessed and allow my story to change your heart. However, I know that there will also be some backlash from this post and I am prepared for that.

3.  If you are NOT  prepared for a VERY candid message, please stop reading after this sentence.

4.  For obvious reasons, I will NOT be naming any men mentioned in this blog. I would like to respect their privacy and I am asking you to do the same. Please DO NOT make assumptions because they are more than likely wrong.

Alright, let's go ahead and face our demons head on.


Last week I wrote a blog titled, "The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me". In that blog, I shared my story of heartbreak with you. Today's story will recount of the aftermath of that heartbreak. It will convey what happens when you don't allow God to come in and properly heal your heart. It will allow you to mentally deduce what happens when you try to heal yourself, by filling the void in your heart with the wrong things.

So let's go back to the night my ex broke up with me. Now in my previous blog I mentioned that he broke up with me in his house. What I didn't mention is that I never left that night. I thought spending a night would change things. I was wrong. I spent the entire night crying myself to sleep in HIS bed.

Stupid, I know.

The next morning I woke up, packed up the few things I had there, and left to my house. I was so devastated, empty, and depressed, that I didn't even bother going to work. I knew I wouldn't make it through the day because at that point in time, I was barely making it through life.

So I get home and the whole day I just cry, sleep, wake up, realize how alone I was, and then cry and sleep again. Finally,  I woke up around 7pm and took a look through my Facebook posts. I saw that a girl I recently met had posted a message about being home alone with nothing to do. So I inboxed her and asked her if she wanted to go to a party at a local bar with me. She said yes, and I picked her up.

We go to this local party and end up chugging drink, after drink, after drink. At the time I just wanted to drink my misery away, and it just felt like there wasn't enough liquor at that bar to numb my pain, so I started chugging shots like they were water.

At that point, I had a good buzz going and my heart still felt shattered, but at least I couldn't feel the emptiness. I was surrounded by music, people and my new friend. For a moment, I forgot about how in a matter of 24 hours, my entire life had changed.

Then across the room I see an old friend. He comes over to chat and we get to talking. I eventually spill my little heart out to him about my breakup. He listens and then eventually starts becoming more flirtatious. I take the bait and flirt back. Now all of this is happening, and although I was drunk, I was still well aware of the commitment he was already in with another woman. Yet, my broken heart didn't care because anything, even this committed man, would help soothe the pain.

Eventually the night ends, he takes my friend and I home because we had too much to drink. He walks me to my door and kisses me. It could have all ended there but I decided to return the kiss. Again, not thinking about his commitment, or the fact that I just had my heart crushed the night before. I was just a broken girl looking for someone to kiss my pain away, so I let him.

That one night turned into many more nights. The many more nights we spent together, we became more attached and then we eventually slept together. We did this for months. I was well aware of the fact that he lived one life during the day, as did I, and then we lived another life together at night. I kept his secret and he kept mine, and then we kept secrets from each other.

Although I spent many nights with this one man, I still spent several other days and nights with my ex.  I just took my heart, body and time and played it like a ping pong ball between two men who didn't love me or respect me.

In the midst of dealing with the pain from my breakup, I started to to develop feelings for this new man. A man who had no hopes to commit to me or have any type of future with me. A man who saw my vulnerability and used it to his advantage. Somehow, lost in the world of my own heartbreak,  I became the exact thing that I said I would never become; a home wrecker.

It didn't just stop there. Everything about me changed. I was this new person, so careless with the things I did. I became a liar. I started to lie so much. I lied to my sister, to my best friend, to my parents, my ex, to this man and most importantly I lied to myself.

I started to have this really poisoned mentality. I convinced myself that I was just "playing my ex the way he played me" and "I was just doing me".  I was living a life of deception because deception was easier to live and deal with, than the truth of what I had allowed my life to become. I didnt have the strength or guts to turn around and look at the mess I had created. I didn't want to turn around and look at all the garbage that had ripped through the garbage bag of my life. I just wanted to keep living this lie and double life until it caught up to me. So, I just took my heartache and kept placing it in the wrong things. I took my pain and I chose to place it in my bed, in men, in liquor and in lies.

I had thought that I was playing my ex by sleeping with another man. I was determined to show him who was in charge, that I wasn't phased by him, that he didn't hurt me, and that I could move on without him. I quickly found that the ONLY person who was being played was myself. I was willing to put my body, respect, morals, happiness, wholeness and heart at risk to prove to some guy that I won! In the process of trying to win, I lost it all.

In all of my life, in all of the things I had experienced, this was my rock bottom. It didn't end there. There were many other things that took place after but I will save that for another day.

It took me almost 2 whole years to look back at my life, grab my pain and drag it to God. He came in like a wrecking ball and just started cutting out all the poisonous people and things I had allowed in my life. I Started to lose friends, exes, men, and all types of things.

I was literally so committed to just allowing God to pull me together and fix me that I stood home all the time. I still stay home a ton because I don't need to go out there and continue to place my life into the wrong things. My life is precious. I am responsible for the things I allow to come in and out of my life and I have learned to protect it. I'm not the vulnerable girl I used to be, but it took me a really long time to get here.

When I consider who I was a few years ago, I see that the pain and hurt didn't just come from my ex. It came from all kinds of things that I never allowed God to deal with. My ex leaving me was just the last drop of water that made the bucket tip over. The pain he caused me was familiar to my heart and it's defense mechanism was to guard itself. I had taken the pain that my father caused me, my stepmother caused me, my mother caused me and my previous ex caused me and I allowed it to build up until I become reckless with my life and my decisions. I enabled others to hurt me, use me, and taken advantage of me. I became OK with hurting myself and being vulnerable to hurt.

I'm not proud of who I use to be. I was hateful, unforgiving, malicious, deceitful, a home wrecker, messy, and insecure in who I was.

I was filthy.

I share this story with you in hopes of you realizing that you too can overcome your sins and faults, even the worst of them. The only thing you CANNOT do is change your own heart. That's impossible for you to do. You don't have the power to take years of pain, sin, filth and destruction and transform it into goodness. You do not have that power and neither did I.

It wasn't an easy road for me. I had to fight my way through this.

My whole life I had battled with feeling alone. I always felt alone as a child and that feeling just overtook my life and became natural for me as an adult. When I was a little girl, my mother wasn't always an active part of my life.  Because of this, I felt as though I wasn't enough. I felt if I had been enough, she would have fought harder to remain in my life. I felt as though her love for me wasn't enough to want to stay. Then, as an adolescent I battled with a stepmother who didn't accept me for a very long time. She had married a man she loved, but she had an extremely hard time adjusting to accepting his children. She treated me unfairly and often did things to hurt me emotionally. Again, I felt alone and as if I just wasn't enough to love. Then, I battled with my father,  who often was stuck between choosing his wife or choosing his daughters. He often chose to protect his wife, and overlook the things he saw. I wanted so badly for my dad just to once see the truth and see what was going on in our home but he always chose to ignore it. Again, I felt alone and as though I was wasn't enough to protect and love. Eventually things became so bad at home that my father kicked me out of his house.

I thought my life would be better once I left my dad's house, but that's when my life exploded. So at this point I clung to the only thing I had left and that was my high school sweetheart. Again, I was disappointed. I found out he not only cheated on me, but he cheated while I was at work, he cheated before I came to his house, he cheated after I left his house and he had girls in my car. I found out that there was not just one girl he was sleeping with but there were many. He had other girls paying for stuff he gave me. He had friends covering up for him and I was so blind that I didn't see any of this. He cheated on me for 2 whole years, with the same girl and then many others and I did not even notice once. Finally, one day, he got so fed up with having to hide his cheating, he left me. So, I started hanging out with girls who did a ton of drugs, slept with tons of men, did witchcraft and had no moral compass. I didn't do a lot of what they did but I surrounded myself with these people who didn't care for me and were no good for my life. I also had no where to really live at that time. I literally, for almost 6 years, jumped from house to house. I partied every single weekend and was always high or drunk and just crashed at some random friends house. It was really the only thing that helped me temporarily forget how alone I felt.

During that time in my life, I could be in a room full of people and inside my heart I felt as though I had no place to call home, no one who cared for me and no one who loved me. No matter how many people said it or showed it, somehow, the devil had convinced me that I was not worthy enough of fighting for, I was not worthy enough to love and I was not worthy enough to have a home I could call my own.

All of the stuff you just read, led me to make bad choices with men and in life. I never confronted issues I had and I NEVER had the strength to leave things that were toxic to my life, and for the life of me, I could not forgive those who had hurt me.

That stuff happened for years and years and years. Until.....

I found Jesus.

He's loved me in ways my parents failed to love me. He's loved me in ways men have failed to love me. He's loved me in ways I have failed to love me. He's completely changed my life. There had been days that His love alone was the reason I woke up, and even the reason I ended up not taking my own life. His love alone was the reason I would wake up and do something with myself, even when I felt like there was no purpose to my life. I don't know who I would be if He never came into my life to rescue me. I don't even know if I would be sitting here writing this blog to you. That's how low my life was, that how hopeless I had become.

Today I am FREE! I am so, so, so FREE! I rejoice in that. I'm so different than who I used to be. I'm content in my singleness, in being alone, in being set apart from other people. I am content in who I am. I am content in my purpose for life. I am content! The things he has taken out of my life, He has replaced with greater and bigger things and for that I am deeply grateful.

The spirit of loneliness that used to haunt my life and hold me prisoner, hardly ever comes knocking at more door anymore. He already knows that I will not answer. He already knows that he has lost control of my life. He used to come banging at my door, trying to kick it down, to destroy my life again, but I would sit there crying out to God, and tell loneliness to go away and that he wasn't welcomed anymore. Eventually after all the pounding and banging, the spirit of loneliness left my life because I never opened when he came around.

Today, as I sit here and blog, I am content, whole, happy, I've forgiven my past and the people who hurt me, and my mindset is SOOOOO different.

I will be the first to admit that I have made SOOOO many mistakes and I had often gone back to my old lifestyle, but I have NEVER gone back and remained comfortable living that way. The reason for that is because God hasn't allowed anything to separate us, even when I have. At the club, in the bar, even while having sex with some undeserving man, the sweetest, most gentle, most loving voice always whispers, "Daughter, I am for YOU. I love you. These things you allow in your life won't give you the satisfaction, love and peace that I have to offer you. Daughter, come back to me." and I did.

I share this blog, my life, my past and my mistakes with you ladies to inspire you.  I was broken once and I fought like crazy to become who I am today, to break free of those things that held me captive. I want you to know that if someone so broken and ugly as I was can be transformed, then you can too.

Initially this blog was written to encourage young women not to sleep around and give their bodies away so freely. I hope you got that message, but I also pray that you understand that you can overcome ANYTHING.

I see you ladies posting statuses about your unfaithful husbands/boyfriends, your deadbeat baby daddies, your backstabbing friends and your struggles. This breaks my heart.

So I wanted to share my story with you in hopes that you would find encouragement, keeping pressing into God's promises, keep your eyes focused on Christ and fight like crazy to win your life back.

You can do it. You're an overcomer, Darling.

Stop placing your hope in sex, money, men, drugs, drunkenness and things that serve you no good. Pour your life and time into Jesus, because He is the only One who will ALWAYS be FOR you. He won't temporarily just numb your pain, but He will take it away and make you whole! He is the only one who can take the shattered pieces of your heart and perfectly place them back together again.

Rest in that promise, Darlings. He is for YOU!

Before I left you go, I would like to ask that you share this with as many women as possible. 

Jessica Torres

Founder of Beauty of Encouragement

Porcelain Throne Oppression

Hi Darlings,

Today's post will be short and sweet. Tomorrow I am bringing the fire, so please DO NOT miss out.

Today, I 'll be sharing a short story with you and then I will let you go on conquering your day.

The past few weeks I've been given the honor of potty training a stubborn 3 year old. It has been a living nightmare. 

First off, he won't go to the potty without being able to play a game on the iPhone. Second, he will spend all of his time playing a game and no time actually pooping or peeing. Third, when I talk about pooping or peeing, he starts yelling like a maniac. Fourth, I lose, he wins and then he's off the potty, peeing/pooping in his pull-up five minutes later. It really is quite the experience. 

Of course, I don't have much patience for things like this. But as we know, God gives us what we ask for, and OF COURSE I had the nerve to ask Him for patience. 

We have literally done everything we possibly can to convince this sweet toddler to use the dang potty. We've used reward charts, iPhones, lightsabers, and even Legos. We have tried it all! Not one thing has worked.

So all day yesterday, we found ourselves battling the porcelain throne once again. We went through a vicious cycle of getting on the potty, not actually using it, getting off the potty, and then pooping in our pullup five minutes later.  It was exhausting!

During our final attempt to overcome the oppression of potty training, the most heart touching thing happened. 

NO! He didn't poop or pee if that's what you're thinking.  

I was sitting on the floor of the washroom, trying to entertain this sweet angel as he is screaming his head off, and I begin to get overwhelmed with frustration. So overwhelmed that I had to turn away and try not to cry. 

Childless women are thinking I'm crazy right now but you mama bears feel my pain.

Suddenly, the little angel gets off of his porcelain throne and walks over to me, naked and all, hugs me and says "Jessica, I love you."

I swear, it was the sweetest, most loving, most encouraging moment ever. All of my feelings of frustration, anger, despair, irritation and rage just vanished away. It was then that I remembered God's sweet words, "Love covers a multitude of sins."

I wish I could live that moment over and over again. It was powerful because earlier that afternoon I was reading the book of Corinthians about love (the same verse I shared with you ladies yesterday) and I understood what it meant, but I wondered what it actually felt and looked like. And there I was, hours later, actually experiencing the literal meaning of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

Love has the power to change things. Love has the power to change people. Love has the power to change YOU!

So my assignment for all of us today is to study the scripture below and then act on it.


1 Corinthians 13:4-8

New Life Version (NLV)

⁴ Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. ⁵ Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. ⁶ Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. ⁷ Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things.

Go out and conquer the world, Love. Show them the love you're working with!



Jessica Torres

Founder of Beauty of Encouragement