It's A Celebration

Hi Lovely,

It's finally the weekend! We made it another week! 

Celebrate! It was a tough and rough one with all the snow! 

After a heavy post yesterday and pouring my heart out to you all, I think it's safe to say today's blog will be a short one.

I don't have any stories to share with you today, but of course I have some encouragement. 

I just wanted to remind you ladies to dream big! Like dream REALLY big. Use that faith, sista! 

I'll be going into this area a little more in the upcoming weeks, but I wanted to lightly touch on the area today. 

If you think your dreams are way too big. Slap yourself! Just kidding. Don't do that. 

On a serious note, you need to believe, even when it's hard seeing such a big dream come to life.

Don't sell yourself short!

For instance, I promised myself that I would write my blogs as though I were speaking to millions of women. Turns out I was speaking to about 1600 at the start of this week. Such a great number, right?

Wait until you read the next part!   

Today, the amount of people who viewed my blog almost DOUBLED!!!! Yes! AMAZING!!

Whew! So incredibly fully of joy! 

So next time you think your dreams are too big, tell your mind to hush and then go to work! 

Nothing is too Big for the God we serve! Absolutely nothing!

Lives were changed before my eyes yesterday. God had women and men balling their eyes out and facing pain they hid for 20-30 years! I prayed for this soooo incredibly hard.

 I encourage you to take ALL that pain to God. If your pain still hurts you that means you have not been healed and it's still stored in your heart. Let me tell you, as a wise woman once said, "Ain't nobody got time for that". Take it to God! He will heal you.

I'm incredibly blessed to encourage you all. I'm glad that my reckless past was not in vain. God will use anything for His glory! 

Now, let's talk about something else really fast! 

I wanted to remind you ladies that there are SO many broken women in this world. My goal is to bring as many broken women as possible to read this blog. I need your help! Please continue to share this blog with all the people you love! I'm serious, it could change someones life. Just yesterday, I had MEN telling me that my blog has encouraged them. Haha! I was not even thinking about men when I created this blog, but again, God will touch anyone! 

So, share my blog! Share my blog posts! Share my Facebook Page! Share my Instagram! Share my twitter! 

Also, I love reading all your comments about how my blog has touched your life and I know other people will want to read them as well. So please, comment on Facebook and the actual blog. Let's get to know each other and love on each other. This is a sisterhood! 

We want to hear from you! 

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement 

Brrr! Baby, It's Cold.

Good Morning Beautiful,

Meteorologists have determined that the polar vortex is so powerful that it is causing a deep atmospheric depression along the Atlantic Ocean. As a result, subzero temperatures are breaking records across the US this week. Today in Chicago, we are at a frigid 3 degrees, while other states are experiencing temperatures as low as -20 degrees.  News reports are covering deaths all across America. People are literally freezing to death because of these brutally cold temperatures. All across the nation cities are declaring a state of emergency. Several media outlets have described this blizzard as "bitterly cold", "life threatening", "a real killer",  and "a serious situation".  One news outlet stated that within 10 minutes of being outside you could literally freeze to death if you weren't properly clothed. For this reason, we are being warned to exercise extreme caution when dealing with these plunging temperatures. It's dangerous out there and if you aren't properly prepared you could lose your life.

Sounds scary, doesn't it?

Yet, this weather doesn't even compete with the coldness of our own hearts. 

As I sit here and write this blog, I can't help but think of the coldness of my own heart. I can honestly sit here and say that at one time or another, my heart has been so cold that the blizzard of my own words have killed many. I often find myself asking God to change my heart and make it more like His. Daily I plead for Him to reveal the areas in which I struggle and the areas that I need to allow Him to clean up. 

Then, I go through my day being "holy" and "righteous". I become so pleased with myself and how much I'm allowing God to change me, make me new, and renew my heart. Everything seems fine and dandy and I start to take pride in how fully committed I am to the Lord. I can see how kind, tenderhearted and loving I am becoming.

AND THEN.....

My sister comes in town to visit me and the blizzard returns.

My sister and I have always had a very "special" relationship, as most sisters do. I'm her protector, defender, confidant, sounding board, teacher, supporter, and encourager and she is mine. Then at the drop of the wrong tone, attitude, word or action, she becomes my worst enemy and the polar vortex of my heart comes in blazing causing a deep atmospheric depression to those around me. I'm quick to destroy her with my words, hurt her with my actions, and cut her down as though she's my archenemy. In many ways, the way I treat my sister when she upsets me, is comparable to how the harsh, cold, disastrous blizzard treats us. After I've emptied the most hurtful words out of my heart and she's crying, I find myself fully convicted and ashamed.  Most times, I play it off with pride and act as if I don't care that I just killed her spirit with my words and actions. The moment God gets me alone, I sit in a sea of my own shame, fully convicted of my wrongdoing and shortcomings. 

As usual, when you ask God to reveal something to you, He sure does. When I ask God to reveal my heart to me and to work in me, He ALWAYS uses the people closest to me to show me who I REALLY am.  He uses people that I love to reveal the content of my heart to me. He uses them to expose the areas that need His healing power, the areas that need His forgiveness, the areas that need His strength, the areas that need His love and the areas that need His chastening.

Don't get me wrong, He uses strangers as well. However, we have a love connection with our own family and friends and the piercing of His conviction is more painful when He uses them,  because of the bond we share with these people. Which is also why we are deeply wounded when family and friends betray and disappoint us versus some random stranger.

He will use ANYONE and ANYTHING when he is trying to transform your heart.

For instance....

It's common for people to say things like, "I cannot stand "So and So" because "So and So" brings out the worst in me."

No, girlfriend! "So and So" doesn't bring out the worst in you. "So and So" just exposes the garbage in your heart, the evil in your heart and the insecurities in your heart. The reason you don't like "So and So" is because your reaction to "So and So's" actions is a reflection of your wicked little heart and you don't like what you see.

I love this illustration and scripture because it really depicts what our tiny hearts look like when they're engulfed in the filth of jealousy, deception, envy, lust, idolatry, hate, unforgiveness, etc.

The scripture used here explains how the words that come out of your mouth, whether they be love or hate, are connected to your heart and are a result of what is living in your heart. So if you want to determine if your heart is pure and good, then you would need to evaluate what comes out of your mouth. 

Do you cut others down with your words?

Do you curse people with your words?

Do you wish bad on people with your words?

Do you gossip?

Do you lie?

Do you spread rumors?

Do you curse people out?

Do you tarnish people's character and reputation with your words?

Do you speak negativity with your words?

Do you doubt with your words?

Do I hear some of you whispering "yes"? 

Don't be ashamed, Love. Rejoice! God has just exposed your own heart to you. He has revealed the truth to you and His Word says that the truth shall set us FREE. 

Be Free!

How do you find freedom, you ask? 

It's simple. 

Come to the feet of Jesus and ask for His sweet forgiveness. Ask Him to change your heart, mind and words. Ask Him to come in and do some serious housekeeping and to clean out the deepest and dirtiest corners of your heart, and then submit to Him. Let Him change you. Ask Him for strength or whatever it is that you lack and He will provide it. 

I find that when I'm not sitting in the presence of Jesus and allowing Him to be strong in my weakness, I fail, and the story above repeats itself. We are going to make mistakes and we are going to have days where we fail but failure is not a dead end road. Seek Jesus and he will reroute you back to righteousness.

Here is what your heart should be focused on.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴ Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. ⁵ Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. ⁶ Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. ⁷ Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things.

Sister, it is possible for God to change you. Don't settle in your mediocre ways. Be the best version of yourself. 

The grace of Jesus is beautiful. Here's a little tip: Shower in it daily or you will begin to stink. 

Alright, now go out there and start your day with encouragement and love. This day is YOURS. Conquer it!

P.S I am so excited about Friday's blog. It's going to be the most transparent I have ever been in my entire life. I would like to forewarn you about the rawness of Friday's post. If you have teenage daughters, I would encourage you (use discernment) to have them read my post. It's going to rock your world. We will be covering sex, adultery, fornication and a few other things. This blog will be candid and real. I am willing to lay it all on the line to save another woman from experiencing the pain I went through and to prevent them from making the mistakes I have made.

Jessica Torres

Founder of Beauty of Encouragement

The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You

Beloved,

God came and really exposed our hearts yesterday, didn't He?! He really showed us how ugly we can get. Trust me ladies, I'm right there with you. He's working in my heart as I minister to you all. Thankfully we have a loving and forgiving God!

Now, clear your mind, open your heart and let's welcome change into our hearts.

Today's blog will have some of you ladies breaking up with your man, ending one-sided friendships and walking away from people who serve no purpose in your life.

Let's give a standing ovation to that!!! What a thing to celebrate.

2014 is about one goal. That goal is to better yourselves and to remain FOCUSED on all things good. 

That's an excellent goal BUT we can't do that if we are constantly being surrounded by people who drown us in their negativity, selfishness, and greed. Those people will kill us emotionally, spiritually and they will take years of joy, happiness and peace from us.

Hunny, you've got to grab that life vest, buckle it up, fight for your life, and swim to safety! Swim fast and don't look back.

People like that will take from you until you have nothing left to give. Most times you are so focused on serving and loving them that you're too blind to see their mediocre giving to your life. 

I bet you can name a few people like this in your life, right?

I battled with this for a long time. With all kinds of people. Men, friends and even family. I was allowing certain people to take and take and take until I had nothing left to give. So, when I had nothing else left to offer them they eventually left me or wanted nothing to do with me. 

There are a few examples I can use, but I'm going to use the one below because most women can resonate with it.

A few years ago, I dated a man who I had been friends with for years. I had been single for quite some time and I was getting kind of lonely. He was single and I was single, so we gave it a shot.  We dated and eventually our entire relationship became centered around what I gave and what I had to offer and what I was willing to sacrifice. I was a fool in love and so blinded by loneliness that I just didn't see his heart or his intentions. After almost a year and a half of pouring my all into this man he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Yep, just like that.

We're in his kitchen and he's telling me it's over and that this is what was best for me. You know, the typical breakup line. I just couldn't believe he would end things after all I did for our relationship. I kept saying "You don't know what I need. You don't know what makes me happy."  The truth is neither did I. I didn't know what I needed and I sure as heck didn't know what made me happy.  I had placed my happiness in the hands of some human and I wanted what was due to me. I just wanted to be loved in return. I just wanted the same measure of effort, time, love and commitment returned to me.

So after an hour of begging and pleading, he takes me, looks in my eyes and says, "Later in life you'll look back and this will be the best thing that happened to you. You deserve better."

I was BROKEN. You know the kind of broken that has you crying never ending tears, leaves your stomach feeling empty and has your body thinking your heart was just ripped out of your chest? That kind of broken. The pain was so overwhelming. My heart was shattered. And the most ironic part about it all is that for months I had been telling my best friend how unhappy this SAME man had made me. Yet, I still wanted him. He was my comfort blanket and I wasn't letting go.

Loneliness will do that.  It will have you stay in a relationship/ friendship you are not happy in JUST because it brings temporary satisfaction.

It took me a very long time to heal from that heartbreak. Mainly because I had invested so much time and because it was similar to a relationship I had experienced years before. It was like history was repeating itself. I blamed it on "God teaching me a lesson" but in reality I just never took the time to wait for the right relationship, so I settled for a bunch of second bests.

Thankfully here I am a few years later and now I can see that the words my ex spoke that night came to life. Now I know that I have to take accountability for who I allow in my life and in my heart. The bible repeatedly says "guard your heart" . It wasn't just some nice little gesture Jesus wanted to share with us. It was a WARNING! He was telling us to go purchase that fancy state-of-the-art security system and protect our pretty little hearts with it because people were going to try to come in to ruin , steal and destroy it. 

Emotions have a funny way of making us believe that we need things that don't add value to our life. So, most times, you still hangout with that backstabbing friend, date that cheating boyfriend, or stay in that pointless relationship all because your emotions are telling you that you won't make it alone. All because your emotions are telling you that God doesn't have a bigger and better plan for you.

We know what we deserve and it usually doesn't come when WE want it to, so instead we just settle for the next "best" thing that comes along. Then when that fails, we are on our knees asking God why we are in so much pain. A pain we caused ourselves because we didn't patiently wait for Him to reveal His PERFECT plan to us. Instead, we rather spend years investing our time into things that were never meant for us. 

How foolish is that?

Ladies, this mentality will hurt us! Allowing the wrong people to stay in our lives WILL alter where we end up in life. It will delay our blessings and hinder us from finding true happiness. 

Examine your life. Examine the people in your life. Examine yourself. Examine what you allow and what you tolerate. 

Are there things or people who don't belong? If there are, get them out of your life NOW. Your time, heart and love is PRECIOUS!!!! Do not waste it on anything and everything.

 Cut those people and things off NOW!

But remember to do it all with love. Love them from a distance. Don't bash them. Don't wish the worst on them. Just tell them good riddance, show them the door and lock it. 

This is going to be hard,  Ladies. All change is hard but in due time it will be "the best thing that ever happened to you". I encourage you to be strong, to seek God's strength,  love and healing. 

Remember.......

HIS plan is perfection. Stop trying to control your life! He's God. He's got it handled.

Jessica Torres

Founder of Beauty of Encouragement