The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You

Beloved,

God came and really exposed our hearts yesterday, didn't He?! He really showed us how ugly we can get. Trust me ladies, I'm right there with you. He's working in my heart as I minister to you all. Thankfully we have a loving and forgiving God!

Now, clear your mind, open your heart and let's welcome change into our hearts.

Today's blog will have some of you ladies breaking up with your man, ending one-sided friendships and walking away from people who serve no purpose in your life.

Let's give a standing ovation to that!!! What a thing to celebrate.

2014 is about one goal. That goal is to better yourselves and to remain FOCUSED on all things good. 

That's an excellent goal BUT we can't do that if we are constantly being surrounded by people who drown us in their negativity, selfishness, and greed. Those people will kill us emotionally, spiritually and they will take years of joy, happiness and peace from us.

Hunny, you've got to grab that life vest, buckle it up, fight for your life, and swim to safety! Swim fast and don't look back.

People like that will take from you until you have nothing left to give. Most times you are so focused on serving and loving them that you're too blind to see their mediocre giving to your life. 

I bet you can name a few people like this in your life, right?

I battled with this for a long time. With all kinds of people. Men, friends and even family. I was allowing certain people to take and take and take until I had nothing left to give. So, when I had nothing else left to offer them they eventually left me or wanted nothing to do with me. 

There are a few examples I can use, but I'm going to use the one below because most women can resonate with it.

A few years ago, I dated a man who I had been friends with for years. I had been single for quite some time and I was getting kind of lonely. He was single and I was single, so we gave it a shot.  We dated and eventually our entire relationship became centered around what I gave and what I had to offer and what I was willing to sacrifice. I was a fool in love and so blinded by loneliness that I just didn't see his heart or his intentions. After almost a year and a half of pouring my all into this man he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Yep, just like that.

We're in his kitchen and he's telling me it's over and that this is what was best for me. You know, the typical breakup line. I just couldn't believe he would end things after all I did for our relationship. I kept saying "You don't know what I need. You don't know what makes me happy."  The truth is neither did I. I didn't know what I needed and I sure as heck didn't know what made me happy.  I had placed my happiness in the hands of some human and I wanted what was due to me. I just wanted to be loved in return. I just wanted the same measure of effort, time, love and commitment returned to me.

So after an hour of begging and pleading, he takes me, looks in my eyes and says, "Later in life you'll look back and this will be the best thing that happened to you. You deserve better."

I was BROKEN. You know the kind of broken that has you crying never ending tears, leaves your stomach feeling empty and has your body thinking your heart was just ripped out of your chest? That kind of broken. The pain was so overwhelming. My heart was shattered. And the most ironic part about it all is that for months I had been telling my best friend how unhappy this SAME man had made me. Yet, I still wanted him. He was my comfort blanket and I wasn't letting go.

Loneliness will do that.  It will have you stay in a relationship/ friendship you are not happy in JUST because it brings temporary satisfaction.

It took me a very long time to heal from that heartbreak. Mainly because I had invested so much time and because it was similar to a relationship I had experienced years before. It was like history was repeating itself. I blamed it on "God teaching me a lesson" but in reality I just never took the time to wait for the right relationship, so I settled for a bunch of second bests.

Thankfully here I am a few years later and now I can see that the words my ex spoke that night came to life. Now I know that I have to take accountability for who I allow in my life and in my heart. The bible repeatedly says "guard your heart" . It wasn't just some nice little gesture Jesus wanted to share with us. It was a WARNING! He was telling us to go purchase that fancy state-of-the-art security system and protect our pretty little hearts with it because people were going to try to come in to ruin , steal and destroy it. 

Emotions have a funny way of making us believe that we need things that don't add value to our life. So, most times, you still hangout with that backstabbing friend, date that cheating boyfriend, or stay in that pointless relationship all because your emotions are telling you that you won't make it alone. All because your emotions are telling you that God doesn't have a bigger and better plan for you.

We know what we deserve and it usually doesn't come when WE want it to, so instead we just settle for the next "best" thing that comes along. Then when that fails, we are on our knees asking God why we are in so much pain. A pain we caused ourselves because we didn't patiently wait for Him to reveal His PERFECT plan to us. Instead, we rather spend years investing our time into things that were never meant for us. 

How foolish is that?

Ladies, this mentality will hurt us! Allowing the wrong people to stay in our lives WILL alter where we end up in life. It will delay our blessings and hinder us from finding true happiness. 

Examine your life. Examine the people in your life. Examine yourself. Examine what you allow and what you tolerate. 

Are there things or people who don't belong? If there are, get them out of your life NOW. Your time, heart and love is PRECIOUS!!!! Do not waste it on anything and everything.

 Cut those people and things off NOW!

But remember to do it all with love. Love them from a distance. Don't bash them. Don't wish the worst on them. Just tell them good riddance, show them the door and lock it. 

This is going to be hard,  Ladies. All change is hard but in due time it will be "the best thing that ever happened to you". I encourage you to be strong, to seek God's strength,  love and healing. 

Remember.......

HIS plan is perfection. Stop trying to control your life! He's God. He's got it handled.

Jessica Torres

Founder of Beauty of Encouragement  

Ugly Little Mouth

Ladies,

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I am so excited to pour love, encouragement and motivation into your life. Please bare with me because it may not always be perfect, but I promise it will always be sincere.

Can you believe we are already three days into the new year. Gosh, how amazing is that? A whole new year full of endless opportunities and blessings. I know that soon the New Year hype will start to dim down and you'll start feeling a little discouraged and your motivation will not be as high as it was on January 1st. That's OK, because we will all have those times and we need to encourage each other to stay focused on the goal. So, think of this blog as a place to refresh your mindset!

I encourage you to share this blog with as many women as possible. Just like you there are tons of other women out there lacking encouragement, feeling beaten down by life, and simply ready to throw in the towel.

OK, so here we go..... Are you ready for this new journey? I am and I'm on fire for change.



Encouragement- the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope


Wow, how awesome is that? the definition of encouragement is to GIVE someone else support, confidence or hope. 

Now, let's meditate on that for a minute......

Encouragement is a gift we are able to give to others. A gift we are able to speak into someones life. A gift that can support, restore hope or encourage someone else not to give up on life, to keep pushing, to keep fighting. However, too many times we take this beautiful gift and spike it with hate, jealousy and bitterness. 

Are you guilty of this? I sure am. I have also been on the receiving end of that and let me tell you, it's an UGLY feeling. 

I remember telling certain family members about my goal to open a business in my home. Immediately after finishing my sentence they started to speak negativity into my dream. It was almost as though they were just waiting for me to finish my sentence  so that they could tell me how I was going to fail. I felt hurt and upset and I even yelled at them. I mean, how could they? This was important to me. This could mean so much for my life and my finances. Without even thinking, they just started to stab at my dream as if MY DREAM was attacking them. I was mad, hurt, confused and upset. Then God reminded me that I don't need people to validate the gifts, dreams, hopes and visions HE has planted in me. I don't need people to validate my existence. He already did that! 

Now that's all nice and dandy, right? Jesus validated my worth, now I should feel free from people's negativity. Well, to be honest, I wasn't. I was enraged. I kept thinking of how my family should have been more supportive, uplifting and encouraging. In reality they weren't because they just simply didn't know how to. Generations and generations of people have this mindset of defeat. They are defeated in their minds, so out their mouth comes the same thing. 

That is when this very blog came into existence. I decided that I was going to speak encouragement into someones life every single day and I was going to be that tiny little voice that tells them "you can do it. Keep pushing through.".

Too many times we speak because we feel like it's our duty to the world. Too often we don't think about what we are about to say before we say it. Too many times we hurt people with our words and lack of encouragement.

Imagine encouragement like a gift you are giving someone. It's in the prettiest gold box with the perfect glitter polka dot wrapping paper, and wrapped around the box is the biggest, prettiest , perfect,  red ribbon. The wrapping of this gift is simply amazing and makes you excited to open your gift . There must be something beautiful inside. You can already tell because the gift wrapping is so thoughtful. So after anxiously waiting for so long you finally open your beautiful box. BUTTTTTT, You can't help but notice the awful stench coming from inside. As you make your way through the tissue paper, you feel something cold and slimy. Oh my goodness, your hand just touched a dead rat. In that beautiful box you were gifted a dead RAT!!!!! 

How do you feel? Disappointed? Forgotten? Upset? Angry? like a fool? Maybe even a combination of all those emotions? I mean, who would take the time to wrap such a beautiful box knowing it's filled with a rat?!

Has this happened to you? Have you gifted someone with something so special to your heart, only to find that in return they gave you back hate? We often gift our dreams up and hand them out to people we feel will support us and too often they taint our dreams with their poisonous words. 

It hurts, right?


So Beloved, WHY ON EARTH DO YOU DO THE SAME TO OTHERS? Why not do the opposite? 

Now, think of all the people who tell us their dreams and hopes. They are gifting us with their hearts desires and wishes, and in return we give them back a pretty little box filled with the negativity rat. We replace their dreams with our stinky opinions, our doubt, our hate and our negative words. 

It's a never ending cycle of negativity until someone breaks it. So......

Today, I encourage you to be mindful of all your words, your actions and your thoughts. Filter EVERYTHING! Speak encouragement. Speak life. BE that hope that people so desperately need! It starts in your mind and then it will pour out of your mouth. So today start by thinking positive thoughts and then speak on those positive thoughts. I challenge you to do this with me and see how it changes your day and your world. You may even change someones life, just by one thoughtful, encouraging, warm word.

Remember, your words have the power to speak life or death. Do not be careless with your words. Be accountable for what you say to others and to yourself. God himself brought things to life and ended things with just WORDS. He formed the world with words, "let there be light" and so there was. You too have the power to do the same with your mouth and words. What will you allow your words to bring to your life and the lives of those around you?

Go out there and be a spokesperson for love, hope, and all things good. Once you do this the universe will return it all back to you. 

I know we can do this, ladies! One GOOD thought and word at a time. Baby steps.

Please be sure to email us with how this new way of living and thinking has changed your day or life. We look forward to hearing from you.

Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement