God came and really exposed our hearts yesterday, didn't He?! He really showed us how ugly we can get. Trust me ladies, I'm right there with you. He's working in my heart as I minister to you all. Thankfully we have a loving and forgiving God!
Now, clear your mind, open your heart and let's welcome change into our hearts.
Let's give a standing ovation to that!!! What a thing to celebrate.
2014 is about one goal. That goal is to better yourselves and to remain FOCUSED on all things good.
That's an excellent goal BUT we can't do that if we are constantly being surrounded by people who drown us in their negativity, selfishness, and greed. Those people will kill us emotionally, spiritually and they will take years of joy, happiness and peace from us.
Hunny, you've got to grab that life vest, buckle it up, fight for your life, and swim to safety! Swim fast and don't look back.
People like that will take from you until you have nothing left to give. Most times you are so focused on serving and loving them that you're too blind to see their mediocre giving to your life.
I bet you can name a few people like this in your life, right?
I battled with this for a long time. With all kinds of people. Men, friends and even family. I was allowing certain people to take and take and take until I had nothing left to give. So, when I had nothing else left to offer them they eventually left me or wanted nothing to do with me.
There are a few examples I can use, but I'm going to use the one below because most women can resonate with it.
A few years ago, I dated a man who I had been friends with for years. I had been single for quite some time and I was getting kind of lonely. He was single and I was single, so we gave it a shot. We dated and eventually our entire relationship became centered around what I gave and what I had to offer and what I was willing to sacrifice. I was a fool in love and so blinded by loneliness that I just didn't see his heart or his intentions. After almost a year and a half of pouring my all into this man he decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore. Yep, just like that.
We're in his kitchen and he's telling me it's over and that this is what was best for me. You know, the typical breakup line. I just couldn't believe he would end things after all I did for our relationship. I kept saying "You don't know what I need. You don't know what makes me happy." The truth is neither did I. I didn't know what I needed and I sure as heck didn't know what made me happy. I had placed my happiness in the hands of some human and I wanted what was due to me. I just wanted to be loved in return. I just wanted the same measure of effort, time, love and commitment returned to me.
So after an hour of begging and pleading, he takes me, looks in my eyes and says, "Later in life you'll look back and this will be the best thing that happened to you. You deserve better."
I was BROKEN. You know the kind of broken that has you crying never ending tears, leaves your stomach feeling empty and has your body thinking your heart was just ripped out of your chest? That kind of broken. The pain was so overwhelming. My heart was shattered. And the most ironic part about it all is that for months I had been telling my best friend how unhappy this SAME man had made me. Yet, I still wanted him. He was my comfort blanket and I wasn't letting go.
Loneliness will do that. It will have you stay in a relationship/ friendship you are not happy in JUST because it brings temporary satisfaction.
We're in his kitchen and he's telling me it's over and that this is what was best for me. You know, the typical breakup line. I just couldn't believe he would end things after all I did for our relationship. I kept saying "You don't know what I need. You don't know what makes me happy." The truth is neither did I. I didn't know what I needed and I sure as heck didn't know what made me happy. I had placed my happiness in the hands of some human and I wanted what was due to me. I just wanted to be loved in return. I just wanted the same measure of effort, time, love and commitment returned to me.
So after an hour of begging and pleading, he takes me, looks in my eyes and says, "Later in life you'll look back and this will be the best thing that happened to you. You deserve better."
I was BROKEN. You know the kind of broken that has you crying never ending tears, leaves your stomach feeling empty and has your body thinking your heart was just ripped out of your chest? That kind of broken. The pain was so overwhelming. My heart was shattered. And the most ironic part about it all is that for months I had been telling my best friend how unhappy this SAME man had made me. Yet, I still wanted him. He was my comfort blanket and I wasn't letting go.
Loneliness will do that. It will have you stay in a relationship/ friendship you are not happy in JUST because it brings temporary satisfaction.
It took me a very long time to heal from that heartbreak. Mainly because I had invested so much time and because it was similar to a relationship I had experienced years before. It was like history was repeating itself. I blamed it on "God teaching me a lesson" but in reality I just never took the time to wait for the right relationship, so I settled for a bunch of second bests.
Thankfully here I am a few years later and now I can see that the words my ex spoke that night came to life. Now I know that I have to take accountability for who I allow in my life and in my heart. The bible repeatedly says "guard your heart" . It wasn't just some nice little gesture Jesus wanted to share with us. It was a WARNING! He was telling us to go purchase that fancy state-of-the-art security system and protect our pretty little hearts with it because people were going to try to come in to ruin , steal and destroy it.
Emotions have a funny way of making us believe that we need things that don't add value to our life. So, most times, you still hangout with that backstabbing friend, date that cheating boyfriend, or stay in that pointless relationship all because your emotions are telling you that you won't make it alone. All because your emotions are telling you that God doesn't have a bigger and better plan for you.
We know what we deserve and it usually doesn't come when WE want it to, so instead we just settle for the next "best" thing that comes along. Then when that fails, we are on our knees asking God why we are in so much pain. A pain we caused ourselves because we didn't patiently wait for Him to reveal His PERFECT plan to us. Instead, we rather spend years investing our time into things that were never meant for us.
How foolish is that?
Ladies, this mentality will hurt us! Allowing the wrong people to stay in our lives WILL alter where we end up in life. It will delay our blessings and hinder us from finding true happiness.
Examine your life. Examine the people in your life. Examine yourself. Examine what you allow and what you tolerate.
Are there things or people who don't belong? If there are, get them out of your life NOW. Your time, heart and love is PRECIOUS!!!! Do not waste it on anything and everything.
Cut those people and things off NOW!
Cut those people and things off NOW!
But remember to do it all with love. Love them from a distance. Don't bash them. Don't wish the worst on them. Just tell them good riddance, show them the door and lock it.
This is going to be hard, Ladies. All change is hard but in due time it will be "the best thing that ever happened to you". I encourage you to be strong, to seek God's strength, love and healing.
Remember.......
HIS plan is perfection. Stop trying to control your life! He's God. He's got it handled.
Jessica Torres
Founder of Beauty of Encouragement 
No comments:
Post a Comment